Today my coworker told me she heard I wanted to visit China in December or January and I said that it's true, that I haven't been there in years and so on. Then she asked me which city in China we're visiting, and I said "Taiyuan, it's my husband's hometown." and she googled it and said it looks nice. I told her where we went last time I've been there and so on. Then, all of a sudden, she starts: "Well, I think that China is interesting, culturally..." and I already thought: "Ugh, here we go." As expected, she went on like "BUT... I just don't like the political situation! It's so bad" I kindly told her that when I was there, I have not faced any issues with the political situation, but she still angrily told me "But the people in China aren't allowed to do what they want, that's just not okay!" In German it sounded even angrier, I can't translate it properly... I suddenly felt hurt because I thought...
Why would people, knowing that my husband is Chinese, just tell me that the country he's from is basically shit in their opinion?
Especially when they've never been there. I know that China does have some political issues, but the problem is that German media displays China in a very bad light. And people who are easy to manipulate believe it. They probably think that you'll be shot on the streets in China if you speak badly about a politician in public, and that people there are living in constant fear, which is just not true. But then again, they won't change their opinon, or simply think before saying such things. I honestly didn't know what to say to her. It would've been no problem if she simply asked me, in a normal voice "Is it true that in China...?" but the fact that she wanted to see pictures and then just angrily told me that she thinks China is a horrible country proved me that she had no intentions to learn something about the country, but simply wanted to talk shit. I felt disappointed.
Please do me and everyone else a favour. Whenever you meet someone from a foreign country, or someone whose friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife is from a foreign country: Do NOT aggressively confront them with every single stereotype you've heard about that country. If you are honestly interested, you can ask. If you're not, please keep your mouth shut.
You have no idea how often people confronted me with stereotypes about Asians in the past years. Just YESTERDAY someone made a joke about my husband eating dogs. It is not funny. I heard these "jokes" so often that I have no energy to keep explaining myself or my husband's culture anymore. How would you feel if everyone would constantly joke about the person you love? Or if you had to explain over and over that they don't do this or that?
I had a wonderful time in China and visited a lot of nice places, I can't wait to be there again!
It's also the country my husband was born in, and his whole family lives there - all of them more kind and generous than people in Germany ever treated me. I love the country with its flaws.
And speaking of Germany and flaws. If you wish to complain about political issues, how about we start right here? What about the horrible racism going on right now? What about the refugee shelters that are being set on fire on a nearly daily basis, without media really talking about it? Do you want others to confront you with that. like it is all your fault? Like you are a horrible person for living in Germany, or - god forbid - even liking to live here? Think about it.
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You could ask them how they would feel if Nazis or Islamophobia is what people think of when someone mentions Germany, how it would feel if people from China stereotype Germans as Hitler-worshipping fanatics who long for the revival of the Master Race, and if they reply that that's not true and not all Germans are like that, tell them the same could be said about China.
AntwortenLöschenI like how your friend disregards your experiences even though she has never set foot in China and you're married to a Chinese spouse, she sounds like she has never interacted with an actual real-life physical Chinese person before and yet she thinks she has the right to tell you what China is "actually" like.
You could ask them how they would feel if Nazis or Islamophobia is what people think of when someone mentions Germany, how it would feel if people from China stereotype Germans as Hitler-worshipping fanatics who long for the revival of the Master Race, and if they reply that that's not true and not all Germans are like that, tell them the same could be said about China.
AntwortenLöschenI like how your friend disregards your experiences even though she has never set foot in China and you're married to a Chinese spouse, she sounds like she has never interacted with an actual real-life physical Chinese person before and yet she thinks she has the right to tell you what China is "actually" like.